Two Hugs
When you read this, you will know it was for you.
I hope this letter finds you well. I know in these days you struggle with various things, and it is my true hope that you overcome them and your golden years feel more golden. As for me, I’m doing well, except for the things that you decided to change on me. In the 27 years that Melissa and I have been together, I think we’ve only had arguments less than half a dozen times. That’s the honest truth. We have one of those relationships most couples can only hope for. But we fought last night. The only reason for it, was because you chose to send darkness into our lives. You did this to us, and I will never understand why.
On Mother’s Day, I insisted we travel across the country to see you. I committed myself to give you all the love I could, despite the past. When I entered your home and hugged you, I immediately said one hug wasn’t enough, please hug me a second time. Those are two hugs I will always remember for the rest of my days. I hope you do too, as that was my intent. That was the theme for my entire visit. I purposely planned it that way, for both of us to have a sense of love and connection, as the years and time for both of us grows short. I truly hope our time together was both enjoyable and memorable for you. When I returned home, it seemed everything was more than fine.
Not long after was the day I came home to find my wife stressed out and crying. Now, I’ve known Melissa for almost 30 years, and she never cries. Never. But she was now. Not wanting to tell me why, I finally coaxed it out of her, and she played me the voicemail you left her. I heard the cruelty, the venom, the evil that you spewed, and I’ll never understand why. In fact you weren’t even angry with us, you were fighting with one of your other children and just chose to attack us for reasons I will never understand. After all, I had just given you two hugs.
I will never know why you said the things you did, or why you told us you were going to spread gossip about us, to hurt us. I will never know why you threatened to search out people from our past to bring trouble into our lives. I will never know why you told us you were going to talk to our children, and try to ruin our relationship with them. I can’t think of anything more evil that one family member can do to another. Especially a parent. You’re supposed to be the adult in the room. I wonder if even you know why you do these things.
Perhaps you are unhappy in your own life. I have sympathy for you, spending years alone in an empty kitchen, with nothing to do but gossip about your loved ones into a phone tethered to the wall, trapped there like a prisoner on a leash. I feel sorry for you, but you created that world, not me. Not your children. Not my children.
This isn’t the first time such a thing has happened. In fact there’s a pattern of every year or so you lash out and send us your venom, your darkness. Always in spite of the fact we’ve done nothing wrong at all. And yet still, I travelled the country, just to bring you two hugs.
This time is different. I grow weary of having this nonsense in my life. I’ve grown and risen above it, as you should have. And my children? Attacking another parent’s relationship with their children for some spiteful vendetta that can’t even be justified? I have no choice now but to protect the people I love, by keeping your insane venom and darkness away from us.
Some will be angry that I wrote this. Others, even those close to you, will secretly cheer me on. The reality is you have no qualms in parading the hurtful things you do before all to see, so I should have a right to respond.
Please, for the sake of everyone that loves you, and mostly for yourself, put down the gossip hotline and go stand in front of the mirror. Figure out how you got here, and why you do what you do. Figure out why you desire to destroy the lives of people you love, and that love you. Find peace in your final days. I truly hope that for you.
I also hope the two hugs I gave you were memorable, because now I cannot give you another, ever again.
